Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
