her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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