There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
