Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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