She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
