My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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