I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
