What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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