I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize