one two three fourrrrnication!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize