i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
