i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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