new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
