at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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