we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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