check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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