good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
