Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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