He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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