Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
