apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
