that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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