I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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