How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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