I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
