So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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