it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
