So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
40s are totally the cure
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
