What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
