The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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