Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
