No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize