There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
