Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
