Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
