i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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