Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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