oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
