Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
