Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
