I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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