I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
