just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
