Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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