I am puke
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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