he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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