If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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