Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
