:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
