I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
