She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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