peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
