i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
