I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
