Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize