so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
