I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
