the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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