sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
