No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
