i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize