is your mom at the bar?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
