Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
