Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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