Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
