I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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