Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
